Infertility Jokes.

These are just some jokes I have found or heard along my journey and I wanted to share them with you. Some are out there and some are really out there. Some may be offensive but please note I do not enjoy each of these jokes but thought I would include them all. Different strokes for different folks.

  • I’d love to have kids but infertility runs in my family…
  • Why does it take 50 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
    Because they won’t ask for directions either!
  • About to give me a hand-job my girlfriend says “I am going to make you infertile” -I can’t believe she pulled it off
  • You know you are trying to get pregnant when…Someone asks you today’s date and you reply “Day 21” . . .
  • My wife mocked me, laughing, saying I had no lead in my pencil. She shut up when I told her I didn’t have anyone worth writing to.
  • How many infertility patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Screw in a lightbulb! Hmmm . . . do you think it might help? . . .
  • Why do gypsies have trouble getting pregnant?
    They have crystal balls.
  • I was flicking through the porn channels last night and seen my wife working on “Red hot milfs” I was furious, she’s infertile and she knows it!
  • I find the idea of inert sperm inconceivable
  • I just want ‘eggs’ for Easter. What infertile woman wouldn’t
  • I lost my fertility during a football match. -It was a dead ball situation.
  • My wife and I were trying for a baby for months and months when I finally went to the doctor. I came home to my wife with a pregnancy test. “im pregnant” she said. -Im infertile. She has been missing ever since.
  • A couple go to the doctor for the results of their fertility testing. “madame you have an access of sugar and you sir have an access of albumen. You can’t have any children but you can make lovely meringues”
  • I went to the doctors and I’m devastated to find out that I’ve been infertile since birth. -I don’t know how to break it to my wife and kids.
  • I was devastated when I found out my wife was infertile, I’ve wasted loads of money on condoms.
  • How does an RE like his eggs? -Over 20mm!
  • Two sperm were swimming through a woman’s body.
    The first said, “Whew. I’m getting tired. Just how far is it to the uterus?”
    “The uterus?” the second laughed. “We’re not even past the esophagus yet!”

Sometimes all we need is a little laughter to get us through the day. Joking about such a painful topic can be a touchy subject but just know that I am going through it as well, and humor is my medicine 🙂 If you have others I would love to hear them so feel free to comment with ANY 🙂

p.s -A true story from my journey!!-

My fertility doctor when meeting for the first time and seeing my husband’s SA for the first time said “woooahh woah you need to be careful around this guy! He’s dangerous!” -I almost punched him off his chair!!!!!! Careful???


11 thoughts on “Infertility Jokes.

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